Updates!!!!!

So its been a long time friends, since my last post!  I have monumental news to report!  First, I have worked at Mosaic for over a year!!! Second, I finished my Master of Arts in Ministry degree and will receive my diploma in September.  Third, and most exciting, I have a phone interview with Central Student Missions based in Nashville on the 25th.  As it turns out, I plan on being in Tennessee during that week to scout other potential jobs and visit my friends!  God is doing so much in my life right now, and I am hopeful that he will allow me to get that job and start my life of living on my own!!!!!

Life Goes On, and So Does the Plan of the Lord

It's been over a year since I've written in this blog, and much has happened since then.  I've gone to my first Nashville Predators game and watched the Preds beat the Blackhawks at the Bridgestone Arena and had an amazing time with my friends Jon and Katelyn!   I worked for six months at a thankless job in Milton, but God has now blessed me with a far better job at Mosaic serving adults with disabilities, and I am going on my fourth month there.  It has been an enjoyable job so far, and it will be even better once I have the means to start taking them out to eat and out in the community.  I've also been learning more and more about my faith through the classes I've been taking in my Master of Arts in Ministry program that I hope will help to prepare me for my eventual service to adults with disabilities in a Christian Summer Camp setting.  The things I have learned have been greatly beneficial to my understanding of the Word of God, and of my own understanding of what God has remade in me.  I know that everything I learn here will be of great value to me later on in my life.  My family is all doing well, although I still remained concerned for my brother as he is still trying to find God's purpose for his life.  Please pray that the Holy Spirit would draw him close and embrace him in His arms.  My dad is doing okay, although sometimes he does or says something that doesn't make sense, but that's because of the early dementia.  Pray that the Lord would keep a hold on his mind and keep him healthy.  My mom is in her first week of recovery from a knee replacement surgery and the recovery time is three months long.  Pray that the three of us can be good servants who take care of her, as she has so often done for us, and that her recovery would be swift and complete. Overall, my personal life has been quite good, albeit a bit boring at times since most of my closest friends live too far away from me to stay in face to face contact with, a situation I hope to remedy in a few years time.  I am so proud of how far the faith of my friend Miles Allen has taken him, because I knew that he was chosen to do something special, and has God ever done that in his life as of the past year!  If you don't know about Miles Allen now, trust me you will be glad you do once you check out the work he's done.   I am also very proud of how far all of my friends that I had the privilege of working with at Inspiration Retreat Center have come.  All of you have taken some of the things that you experienced and turned them into lasting positive impacts on your lives, and I take great joy in knowing all of the things that you are all inspired to do.  At the same time, there has been some difficult times for some of my friends, and I pray that the Lord will come to them, and will help them to sort out the best way to deal with the difficulties that they are facing.  I'm not going to mention anyone by name, but know that you are always on my heart, and my prayers are always interceding on behalf of you.

One thing I am still looking ahead to is finding the right woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with, although I have recently been having feelings that maybe there is someone who I can try to get to know better.  I hope for the best, and hopefully I will find out if she is interested in getting to know me better by around this time next month.  Until then, I keep my heart fixed on what the Lord has planned for me, and I know that it is far better than any plans I have for myself.  So keep me in your prayers, and I will keep you in mine.  Thanks for reading, and God bless you all,
Tyler

Matters of the Heart

Hello friends,
     It seems to me that my heart will just not be quiet in regard to what I should do in my search for the perfect woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with.  So once again I turn to this blog to get these thoughts and feelings out of my heart and mind.  It always seems like I have these thoughts late at night.  I guess it is because bedtime is when my mind is not busy with other things, and the issues that are the deepest in my heart start to work their way back to the front of my mind.  I feel like I've been denying my true feelings over this past year since the breakup, and I feel like the Eharmony search may be God's way of telling me that I do not need to keep on looking for someone because either I've already found the person, or because God is yet to reveal that person to me.  But I truly believe that He has already shown me that person, and for some reason, the first time didn't work out the way I wanted it to.  However, I now feel like I am at a point where I need to take a stand and do something bold, because if I wait too long, I may never get a chance to make my true feelings known.  The last thing I want to do is risk losing the chance at being with the one that I love for the rest of my life.  I just pray that God would give me the courage to do what must be done.  I also ask that God would give me someone to talk to about this, because this is a big decision that I have just made, and this time I do not intend to allow anything to mess up this chance!  Jesus please be with me so that I can say the right words to her at the right time and place, so that I can have a chance to prove to her just how much I really do love her.  In all I do, I will trust in You, and  may Your will be done.    God please bless me and be with me,
   Amen

Dealing with the longing inside

Right now it is past three o' clock in the morning, and once again I find myself unable to sleep because I can't help but think about the fact that right now I should still be with the person who I still love right now, but I'm not because she decided that we were not right for each other.  I know I said in my last post that when you love someone so much it's that much harder to learn to love again, but I feel like this has been so difficult for me.  Joining E-Harmony was a decision based on the fact that I felt like I was ready enough to begin to try and find who God wants me to be with, but it hasn't been easy since I started.   I understand that you won't always get together with the first match that you meet in person, but through the conversation I had, I felt like I may have had something going.  But that feeling was crushed in just the course of one evening date.  I know that God is always in complete control, and that His way is the best way, but I can't help but feel like the right one got away from me, and it frustrates me that I can not think of any way to ever get her back.  I loved her so much, and I still love her so much, and it hurts me to think that she said that she thought she couldn't give me the love that I deserve simply because I really want children, and she doesn't.  I truly meant it when I said I would give up having children to be with her, because I truly admit right now that I am still in love with Kayley Schanz even though I am looking for someone else.  Maybe there is not a way for us to be together, but right now my heart is unable to give up the love I have for her.  Perhaps it just shows that the first real love is the strongest one, and it takes a long time to try and recreate that love, especially with another person.  I'm not sure where God will take me in this regard, but I feel slightly better now that I have expressed what is on my heart, even if no one ever reads this blog.

In Christ,
Amen

Hey everyone, I'm back and I have something really important to get something out of my heart that has been causing me a great amount of heartache and pain.  Last night it was so bad I could feel it as a tight feeling in my chest, like a fist was squeezing my heart.  Even though its been over six months, I still am unable to get her out of my heart.  Even though I want to move on in my life, I just seem to be unable to stop loving her.  When I told her that I loved her, I meant it.  I'm still struggling with how I could have felt such a powerful force that told me that she was the one that I was to live the rest of my life with.  I just don't want to keep on living my life without her, but unfortunately she was the one who ended it, so there is not much that I can do in a direct fashion.  Until I either get her back, or God leads me to another angel, I will have to deal with the heartache that is going to come.  I guess when you truly love someone so deeply, losing them hurts that much more.  So I'm going to keep on moving forward, and I will trust that God will give me an angel again.

Will be back soon!

I plan on returning with more stuff soon!  It's been an interesting few months since this summer at Badger Camp, and I plan on updating everyone soon!

I'm Back!

Hello friends and readers,
             I know that it has been a long time since I have posted , but things have gotten kind of busy around here, and I have not had this blog on my mind for quire some time.  I'm really sorry that I was't able to post any sooner, but I will make this post a little longer to make up for not posting for the last three months.  Life has been pretty boring in terms of day to day life, with most days not having much variation on what I do on any particular day.  I know that I have been playing Castleville too much, and have been on my computer doing things that are ultimately not the most productive in terms of advancing myself.  I think that after getting out of school, I was wanting to get some relaxation, and I ended up getting into a bad pattern that stuck for 3 months.  But I have been working on getting better about using my time better, in order to make my mom happy, and to do a better job of being productive during a time when I am waiting to hear where God wants me to go in regard to school and work.



Right now, I am waiting to hear from some schools, and from several different workplaces.  God is really teaching me how to be patient, especially with my mom, since she is the person in my family who I tend to clash with the most.  He is doing great work in me, and I know that He wants me to treat her like she deserves to be treated.  My dad just had a total hip replacement, and is recovering now, so I am helping him out when he needs something.  It's been a good way to stay close with my dad.


Tonight, my angel broke up with me :(   I will say that the 4 months that we were together were some of the best I've ever had.  Thank you Kayley for showing me how a relationship should be, and I will forever be grateful for the time that we had together, I will never forget it!

Thanks for reading,

Tyler